The life I desired 我所追求的生活

何航

威廉.萨姆塞特.毛姆 /William Somerset Maugham
That must be the story of innumerable couples,and the pattern of lifeof life it offers has a homely grace.It
reminds you of a placid rivulet,meandering smoohtly through green pastures and shaded by pleasant
trees,till at last it falls into the vasty sea;but the sea is so calm,so silent,so infifferent,that you are troubled
suddently by a vague uneasiness.Perhaps it is only by a kink in my nature,strong in me even in those
days,that i felt in such an existence,the share of the great majority,something amiss.I recognized its social
value.I saw its ordered happiness,but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course.There seemed to me
something alarming in such easy delights.In my heart was desire to live more dangerously.I was not
unprepared for jagged rocks and treacherous,shoals it I could only have change-change and the
exicitement of unforeseen.
这一定是世间无数对夫妻的生活写照，这种生活模式给人一种天伦之美。它使人想起一条平静的溪流，蜿
蜒畅游过绿茵的草场，浓荫遮蔽，最后注入烟波浩渺的汪洋大海；但是大海太过平静，太过沉默，太过不
动声色，你会突然感到莫名的不安。也许这只是我自己的一种怪诞想法，在那样的时代，这想法对我影响
很深：我觉得这像大多数人一样的生活，似乎欠缺了一点儿什么。我承认这种生活有社会价值，我也看到
了它那井然有序的幸福，但我血液里的冲动却渴望一种更桀骜不驯的旅程．这样的安逸中好像有一种叫我
惊惧不安的东西．我的心渴望一种更加惊险的生活。只要生活中还能有变迁———以及不可知的刺激，我
愿意踏上怪石嶙峋的山崖，奔赴暗礁满布的海滩。